Last night just as we got everyone settled down to bed my husband (we'll call him Mr. Grey for reference) and I started talking. Recently we've been smacked with a lot of drama amongst our friends. It's ended in us both losing our closest friends that we've had for years. And it all started on our wedding night.

My best friend (we'll call her by my nickname for her Muffin) has been my best friend for a few years now. We met back in high school. She was an established young choir singer with small group of childhood friends that walked all over her and I was just a new kid from SoCal who was looking to get into the scene. I sat right in front of her in choir. We became friends when she leaned over and touched the bottom of my hair saying it was a pretty color. I had just died it a bright blue like it had been dipped in paint. We were best friends ever since. I would stick up for her and she would bake me cookies. Everyone honestly didn't believe it. She was so sweet and I was so loud and obnoxious. But we made a good team. We both have a lot of self esteem issues but she had the worst. I got mad because she let people walk all over her. So I taught her how to stand up for herself! I did everything I could to keep in contact when I skipped school to go to college early. I tried to be a true friend and I always put her first. We became so close I made her the godmother to my daughter and my maid of honor.

She returned the favor by barely helping me with wedding plans. Freaking out during my entire wedding and not being there for me. And then a little while afterward trying to make it seem like her and my husband were having an affair. I knew they weren't but it was a still a bitchy way to handle the situation. And I dont do drama well.

A.Grey and his best friend (I'll just write his actual name here) Bryan had been friends since high school too. Actually, funny thing. Bryan got him kicked out of school. A.Grey and Bryan were into some bad stuff and because Bryan thought they might get caught he ratted A.Grey out to the principle. A.Grey, not knowing this until just recently, took the fall for him even though he couldn't gotten a full ride to college. Bryan then turns around with his diploma and goes into the Navy. There were signs he wasn't a nice guy but we all kind of pushed them aside because A.Grey held out hope. That was until Bryan had an ongoing relationship with a girl who constantly bragged about cheating and lying too. As if treating another human being with such disrespect was something to brag about. It made me angry. I would never treat even my worst enemy the way he treated her.

It ended in Bryan trying to save his relationship with her, when she found out everything, by talking trash about my family and A.Grey. He used the words, "A bunch of poor losers that aren't going anywhere in life" and then talked about my mom saying she was a B. Thats when it made me mad! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY MOMMA! So I sent him a nasty letter. I probably shouldn't have. I might've made some gay navy jokes...

And thats when I got to thinking. A.Gray and I have always treated everyone we know like family. It's us until the end riding into battle golden as the sun! But thats not necessarily the rules of the game. And when we lose someone close it hurts. But thats what makes us stick together even with all of our problems. A.Grey's done some pretty messed up stuff to me and I to him. But thats the consequence of unconditional love.

So, todays rule is a mix. Sometimes being happy is kicking someone out of your life that didn't need to be there in the first place. Life is too short to have friends that dont react like friends. And when A.Grey and I sunk back into bed to fall asleep to Worst Cooks in America laughing about the horrible boiled chicken incident I was happy where I was. Even if we were still working through some stuff.

Pursuit of Happiness #4: Choose your friends wisely.