The Starting Line

I’m that girl! You know, that girl you knew once in 5th grade when you were still young but felt tall. The one that was two heads bigger than everyone else and always wore the same hippie moon shirt. The one with the really badly cut bangs and the goofy smile who had a poor artistic mother who was still in college but still tried to fit in- in girl scouts. You know? The one in 7th grade that cut off all her hair and went Goth for a year because she realized that fitting in was impossible when you are an easy target. The one that had an altar ego when AOL was still going strong and missed out on the cash involved when it went down. Yep! That one that in high school blatantly told you she liked you, which freaked you out because she didn’t know how to play the game before hand. The same one that only hung around boys because she didn't know how to interact with girls and that moved up early to college because junior year got boring in the academics department. The same one that in college was too loud and too colorful to miss. Yes. I’m that girl! Remember me?

Hello, I’m Megean McBride. I'm an 18 year old with a caffeine and exercise addiction, a genius husband who cant get his mind to work productively, a spiritually bipolar family, and the most beautiful daughter in the entire universe. For the past year I've graduated school early with a college and high school diploma, got married, had a baby, and got accepted with honors to PSU, nearly got a divorce, gained one eating disorder, lost one huge self esteem, and fought my way through postpartom depression. Meanwhile the past two months I've been writing a book that i'm a few hundred pages into. I've been writing seriously just recently but I've been blogging all my life. I call it the cash cow of my generation. We tend to be really great at commercializing our self-deprecation. And with my collection of "Child of a Crazy Artist" stories and mismatching socks I can be as self-deprecating as it gets. But honestly i'm just a dorky girl in front of a computer blasting Run DMC in the background chomping on homemade lemon chicken and writing on blogspot. I know there's a million of me out there but I'm just one.

The past year as been really hard. I've had a lot of things thrown at me and a whole lot of deep seeded issues come to a boiling point. By the end the only thing that kept me moving was the fact that I was moving. I've gone through the past 18 years or so of my life dreaming of something bigger than myself and lately i've felt like i've just become one big fat walking cliche. I have all this potential and a complete inability to put it to work. But not anymore. I'm though with being the dreamer but never the dream. I want to be a leading lady and not just best friend material. And I am most definately done being the quirky damsel in distress. This year has come to a head with one short blog that's taken me all day to force myself to write. You may not know much about me now but you will.

Because my New Years Resolution is this: to find the true meaning of happiness going one vlog or blog at a time. Each day for the next year i'm going to write a blog and at the end of each blog is going to be a little tidbit about how to be happy. Because in reality, does anyone truly know what happiness is? I mean, we have so many people searching for it. We've got monks that go off in the mountains and meditate for years. We've got lush rock stars that for-fill their dreams with booze, alcohol, and chicks. We've got Tom Cruise which is pretty much self explanatory. Heck, we've even got a tidbit in the Declaration of Independence about the pursuit of happiness. They tell us happiness is what we make of it but how do we make it? With a splash of lemon or lime?

I'm just another human being like any of you asking the tough questions. I'm not particularly smart or witty. I dont have the most sculpted body in the world and I probably stress eat just as much as you guys do. I may not even have style. But I have ME. And thats all I can be when fighting the worst foe of all- ME. I mean, Me. Wait...

Pursuit of Happiness Trick #1: Pushing yourself to start.